I Don't Have Time to Take Care of Myself!

Likely the best thing a caregiver can do for their loved one is to take care of themselves. Caregivers tend to put their own needs on the back burner - - - but if you're not healthy you can not provide assistance to another. -  When did you last have a medical check-up? -  When did you last engage in a fun, favorite activity? -  When did you last get together with friends or family for some fun? -  When did you last sleep all night? It's okay and important to take care of yourself! Research indicates that 46% - 59% of caregivers are clinically depressed.  When did you last talk about your feelings with someone? Pay attention to . . . eating right, getting enough sleep and exercising some! Check out . . .  the Caregiver Stress test at http://www.caregiverstress.com/ [Back to Top]

Is There Some Equipment That Will Help?

Have you ever had to call a tow truck to change a tire?  They come with all the right equipment and in a flash and with seemingly little effort the tire is changed!  Don't you want to say "Well if I had all that stuff I could do it myself!" Having the right equipment can make caregiving tasks simpler, faster and more efficient.  Discuss needs with your doctor.  Ask for a physical or occupational therapy evaluation. Equipment To Consider: -  Bedside commode -  Hand-held shower head -  Handrails -  Lift chair -  Ramp -  Raised commode seat -  Shower seat / bath bench -  Walker -  Wheelchair Contact agencies from the phonebook under Hospital Equipment and Supplies or under Medical Equipment and Supplies. Contact the Caregiver Support Program at the Mecklenburg County Department of Social Services for assistance at 704-336-3150 or email at caregiver@mecklenburgcountync.gov Check out emergency response services: - LifeLine - 704-384-3573 - ResponseLink - 704-875-8473 (emergency response services) [Back to Top]

Where Can I Find Some Support?

I'd just like to know I'm not in the boat by myself! Support groups, training and counseling may be the answer.  Groups meet at various times in different locations all over the county. They are all different - - - one size does not fit all! If your loved one is in another county - contact the Area Agency of Aging 704-372-2416. Support may be as close as family members.  Being specific with your brother about what you need him to do to help with Mom may result in quicker cooperation. Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Support Group Meeting - Free Call 704-336-8520 for more information or to RSVP if you plan to attend.  Usually meets 2nd Monday of the month.  Childcare provided. Location: Department of Social Services 301 Billingsley Road Charlotte, NC 28211 Time:  5:30 P.M. - 7:30 p.m. Other Resources - Family Caregiver Alliance Family Care Navigator  a comprehensive online guide intended to help families in all 50 states and the District of Columbia locate government, nonprofit and private caregiver support programs.  Lists programs for family caregivers as well as resources for older or disabled adults living at home or in a residential facility. -  SupportWorks 704-331-9500 or http://www.supportworks.org/ (On the SupportWorks website click on A local support group.) -  Hope Cancer Ministries 704-364-1440 -  Alzheimer's Association for dementia specific groups - 704-532-7390 -  Hospice Bereavement Support Groups       Hospice and Palliative Care, Charlotte Region  704-375-0100           Presbyterian Hospice and Palliative Care 704-384-6478 Friendly Visitor Program, Love Inc. 704-536-5588 Two quick hints: 1.  Have a job jar and when the well-intentioned friend or family member says, "Let me know what I can do to help."  Have the suggestions ready! 2.  Tell the family - "The doctor wants Mom to have X,Y, and Z.  I can do Y and Z.  Who can do X? If you don't know call Just1Call at 704-432-1111. [Back to Top]

Transportation, Food and Finances Are Real Problems

Being a caregiver can exhaust not only physical and mental resources but financial reserves as well. Check out the availability of some of these resources: Elderly General Transportation Congregate meals/Home delivered meals Food Pantries Contact the Department of Social Services 704-336-3150. Friendship Trays 704-333-9229 Crisis Assistance Ministry 704-371-3000 Matthews Help Center - 704-847-8383 Food Stamps - 704-336-3150 Medicare - including Medicare Part D Medicaid Veterans Benefits - 704-563-2037 If you need assistance accessing these services, call the following numbers for more information and referrals: Just1Call 704-432-1111 or 877-889-0323 Department of Social Services Citizens Information and Referral Center 704-336-3150 United Way 2-1-1 Tips for getting the information you need: -  Be specific and to the point -  Be prepared with all the information you may need in front of you -  Leave a clear message if necessary -  Get the name of the person you speak with -  Be prepared for some delays - the system may work slowly -  Plan ahead when possible -  Try to call early in the morning; avoid Mondays and Fridays, if possible. [Back to Top]

Just Need A Break!

Res-pite (rés·pit) a break, relief, breathing space. Caregivers need time for themselves and breaks are a necessity to maintain good physical and emotional health. Possible sources for respite - Experiment till you find the right fit! -  Family Members -  Faith community care-teams -  Shepherd's Center Caregiver Program 704-365-1995 -  Parkinson Association 704-248-3722 -  Adopt-An-Elder 704-536-5588 -  Adult Day Center with a social and/or health model      -  Adult Care & Share Center         6709 Idlewild Road         Charlotte, NC   28212         704-567-2700         email:  careandshare@bellsouth.net      -  Blessed Assurance Adult Day and Health Care Services         13001 Idlewild Rd.             Matthews, NC   28105         704-845-1359         email:  Blessedadultcare@juno.com         website:  www.Blessedadultcare.org      -  Loving Care Adult Day Care & Health Center         7917-D Moores Chapel Road         Charlotte, NC   28214         704-391-2776         email:  lovingcareadc@aol.com      -  Loving Touch Adult Day/Health Care Center, Inc.         1302 Beatties Ford Road         Charlotte, NC   28216          704-331-0015         email:  joycedfreeman@aol.com      -  Luz Naciente Adult Day Care         5523 Starkwood Drive         Charlotte, NC   28212         704-532-2258         email:  luznacientead@yahoo.com       -  Mount Olive Adult Day Care Home         10016 Garthwood Road         Charlotte, NC   28273         704-527-7342      -  New Friends Adult Day Care/Day Health, Inc.         5600 The Plaza         Charlotte, NC   28215         704-531-7663         704-531-5585         email:  epwalk61@hotmail.com      -  Pritchard PALS @ Pritchard Memorial Baptist Church - PALS         1201 South Blvd.         Charlotte, NC   28203         704-370-0093         email:  palscare@bellsouth.net         web:  www.palscare.org      -  Shining Stars Adult Day Respite         St. Gabriel Catholic Church         3016 Providence Road         Charlotte, NC   28211         704-335-0253      -  University Adult Care, Inc.         1324 John Kirk Drive         Charlotte, NC   28262         704-510-0030          email:  rubyrn@yahoo.com           - Assisted living or nursing home facility short term -  In Home Services (look in the yellow pages under Home Health Services -  Black Mountain Center - Alzheimer's Respite Program 828-669-3379 -  Easter Seals/United Cerebral Palsy 704-529-5195  -  Multiple Sclerosis 704-525-2955 Family Caregiver Support Program and Project C.A.R.E. may be able to assist with respite 704-336-3150. For working caregivers check with your employer to see what benefits might be available. If your care-recipient has Medicaid you may want to explore Personal Care Services or the Community Alternative Program 704-336-4674. Quick Tips -  For a mini break, try this relaxation technique. . . -  Do some deep breathing:  Breathe in through your nose to the count of four, Hold your breath for four counts, Blow out slowly through your mouth.  Repeat several times. keywords:  respite, adult day care, care manager [Back to Top]

What Can I Do About Important Legal Issues?

One of the best things to do to avoid a crisis is to Plan Ahead! -  What is the plan if you get sick or are injured in an accident? -  What are your care-recipient's wishes for end of life care ?  (examples:  tube-feeding, ventilation, Do Not Resuscitate) When you or your loved one can no longer make decisions - who can and who will make those decisions? Issues to consider: -  Living Wills* -  Durable Powers of Attorney* -  Guardianship -  Health Care Power of Attorney* Consult with an Estate and Elder Law Attorney. Consult Legal Services for the Elderly 704-334-0400 Legal Services of Southern Piedmont 704-376-1600 Access free forms for advance directives at www.nclifelinks.org * Remember documents are not official until they have been notarized. Keeping a caregiver notebook: As tedious as this may sound to some people, it can be a blessing when needed.  Good record keeping can document tax deductions for dependent care, explain financial costs to siblings, and be a guidebook for substitute caregivers.  We suggest the following be kept in your caregiver notebook: - A copy of the Durable Power of Attorney and any medical advance directives. - Insurance information regarding Medicare, Medicaid, supplemental insurance and any long-term care insurance. - Names, telephone numbers and addresses of friends and clergy of your loved one. - Emergency contact information. - Contact information for health care including doctor names, specialty, and telephone numbers: information (i.e. patient advisory handouts) and hospital preference or limitations.  Include any home health agency you regularly work with or prefer. - A schedule of a typical day.  This will help any respite friend or worker follow and know what to expect.  Include information on topics such as naps, mealtimes and TV or radio programs. - Dietary information including favorite foods and dislikes as well as any allergies. - Description of problem behaviors such as wandering, agitation, locking him or herself in the bathroom. - If your loved one has some dementia and asks repeated questions, make a list of the correct answers for any homecare worker or friends to follow. [Back to Top]

How Will I Know If It's Time for Long Term Care?

Long Term Care (LTC) describes residence in one of the following:  - Family Care Home - Assisted Living Facility - Nursing Home Residents receive supervision/assistance 24 hours each day.  You continue to be a caregiver and advocate, but the care is a shared responsibility. For information about facilities, contact the Ombudsman program 704-372-2416 Placement assistance is available at the Department of Social Services 704-336-3150. There is a range of care from independent living to nursing home residency with many care possibilities in between.  Caregivers need to be realistic about how much care their loved one needs.  Talking honestly with the doctor is very important.   Note the tell-tale signs that indicate the need for a change. . . The loved one may need more care than you are able to provide.      -  How often is care needed?      -  What type of care is needed - non-medical, skilled nursing or Hospice?      -  Are the financial needs a burden? - - -The Caregiver may have reached her/his limits. Are you:      -  Snapping at the loved one over little things      -  Being constantly irritated      -  Seldom laughing anymore      -  Feeling constantly tired or pressured      -  Losing sleep, sleeping too much, sleeping restlessly      -  Yelling or screaming, having crying jags or rages      -  Withholding affection      -  Withholding  assistance to the care recipient      -  Blaming the care recipient for being in this situation      -  Refusing to go out anymore      -  Withholding expenditures for goods, services or loved one's needs because he/she is going to die soon and it is wasted money? (Adapted from Senior.Mag.com, 2002) Be honest with yourself! [Back to Top]

Local Training Is Available

Learning more about your job as a caregiver can give you more confidence in your role and more success. The caregiver specialist "Have Training - Will Travel" will come to your church, synagogue, club, or support group to discuss caregiving issues.  Trainings and caregiver celebrations are offered throughout the year.  Contact the caregiver specialist at 704-336-3150 or email at caregiver@mecklenburgcountync.gov with your questions or to indicate your interest in being notified about any of these events or the two trainings below. Two (2) specific training programs are available: Powerful Tools for Caregivers Learn to reduce stress, improve self-confidence, better communicate your feelings, balance your life, increase your ability to make tough decisions and locate helpful resources.  This is a series of six (6) classes taught by two trained leaders.  Classes will take place throughout the community. Caring for You, Caring for Me Curriculum developed by the Rosalynn Carter Institute for Human Development.  In the five (5) sessions you will have an opportunity -  gain information on various topics related to caregiving -  learn methods of coping with the stresses and strains of being a caregiver -  learn what resources are available -  discover ways to work together with other helpers -  recognize that you are not alone There is wonderful information on the internet that you can use to educate yourself.  We highly recommend the following sites: NC Division of Aging and Adult Services www.dhhs.state.nc.us/aging National Family Caregiver's Association www.nfcacares.org National Alliance for Caregiving www.caregiving.org or http://www.familycaregiving101.org/ Family Caregiver Alliance www.caregiver.org   AARP www.aarp.org Other community training available: Central Piedmont Community College 704-330-2722 Centralina Area Agency on Aging - regional events and training - 704-348-2738 Hospice and Palliative Care, Charlotte Region 704-375-0100 Red Cross Caregiving Training - 704-376-1661 Western Carolina Chapter Alzheimer's Association 704-532-7392 [Back to Top]

Current Training and Events

Second Annual Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Day Celebration! - Free event Saturday, September 20, 2008 11:00 a.m. - 2:00 p.m. The Charlotte-Mecklenburg Senior Center @ Shamrock 3925 Willard Farrow Drive Charlotte, NC 28215 You are invited to a day of celebration - food, fun and activities. - Information sessions for adults and teens - Door prizes - Vendors Registration is required.  RSVP by September 15, 2008.  Call 704-336-8520 and leave your name, telephone number, the number of adults attending, the number of children living with you in your care and their ages. [Back to Top]

What's Wrong With My Loved One?

The more you know about the care-recipient's illness the better prepared you'll be to deal with behaviors and needs.  You'll have some idea about what to expect. A good evaluation by the doctor is essential for making a care plan.  The doctor will need input from the caregiver about their observations and concerns. Here are some possible resources about common illnesses: AIDS Metrolina AIDS Project 704-333-1435 or 1-800-289-2437 ALS ALS Association 1-800-782-4747 Alzheimer's and Related Dementias Western Carolina Chapter Alzheimer's Association Help line 704-532-7390 http://www.alz.org/ or in North Carolina www.alz-nc.org Duke Family Support Program 1-800-672-4213 Arthritis 704-529-5166 www.arthritis.org Cancer American Cancer Association 704-552-6147 www.cancer.org Diabetes American Diabetes Association 704-373-9111 www.diabetes.org Heart Attack American Heart Association 704-374-0632 www.americanheart.org Leukemia 1-800-888-9934 or 704-998-5012 Lung Disease 1-800-892-5650 Multiple Sclerosis 704-525-2955 National 1-800-532-7667 www.msaa.com Muscular Dystrophy 704-567-2912 www.mdausa.org Parkinson's Disease 704-248-3722 www.apdaparkinson.org Speech and Hearing Disabilities Charlotte Regional Resource Center for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing 704-568-8558 or 800-835-5302 Regional Deaf/Hard of Hearing Services Email:  hollingsworth@tmail.com roadie4life@tmail.com Stroke National Stroke Association 1-800-787-6537 www.stroke.org Terminal Illness Hospice and Palliative Care Charlotte Region  704-375-0100 Presbyterian Hospice and Palliative Care 704-384-6478 Visual Disabilities Metrolina Association for the Blind 704-372-3870 or www.mabnc.com NC Division of Services for the Blind 704-563-4168 [Back to Top]

The Caregiver information was produced by the Status of Seniors Initiative Caregivers Work Group and is courtesy of the Mecklenburg County Department of Social Services Family Caregiver Support Program. For information or to obtain copies of this document, call a Caregiver Specialist at 704-336-3150 or Just1Call at 704-432-1111.